Cheese With Your Whine 2

Yes, I've heard it on the gripe-vine:

"It's Shake-It-To-Me Time": Safeway offers a shelter "Nutritional Shake plus calories", 360 calories per 237ml bottle, lactose and gluten free. A young man screams that the best-before date has expired, so the cafeteria manager tries to explain that it is a shelter, and not a restaurant. Another young man yells loudly, "I won't drink this, it contains 33% iron." If he examined that nutrition table and added all of the percentages up, he should know he is wrong when the total is greater than 100%. If the iron content was that high, the container could be picked up by a powerful magnet. Well, it can be picked up by the magnet, as there is a steel disk in the lid... The bottle top says "Shake well". Because of the shape of the bottle and the way that it was filled in the factory, not everything gets mixed together unless vigorously shaken for several minutes. Some people interpret the lumps that pour out as a sign of spoilage. The bottle resembles that which contains the "Ensure" product.

Many shelter residents are anti-social and selfish. They are disrespectful of other's rights or space, jump lines when they feel like it, utter scandalous, defamatory, or derogatory remarks and threats at other residents. They should be in remote bush camps, not a civilized city. From the frequent unhealthy and unsafe state of the washrooms, many were never toilet-trained.

Something happens to those persons who are smokers. Their distance perception is impaired, so that they never obey the bylaw that states they are to smoke 5 meters away from the building. They leave their butts for others to walk indoors on their soles. And some smoke in the washrooms rather than go outside, which is a violation of fire and health regulations, in addition to city bylaws. (Maybe their consciences are replaced by nicotine addiction?)

"Internal clients" are discriminated against, as some services and items such as bread and food hampers are only offered to external clients. The fact that internal clients may depend on these because of their financial situation is ignored. Some of the fortunate "external clients" that receive large quantities of free bread are flocks of Mallard ducks and Canada Geese that decided to stay in the city for winter instead of migrate. I guess they are homeless, too...

The food services only offers clients consideration for their health and diet needs only if they are registered in a meal plan. Others cannot obtain alternate meals, saved meals, takeout containers, or even respect from servers in exchange for their cash to buy meal tickets. The posted menu only partly agrees with what is actually served, and contains mystery "Chef's Special" meals for several meals (which makes it difficult for non-plan clients to plan ahead for where they will dine). And there are armed, uniformed, arrogant, and intimidating security guards present to discourage those who attempt to protest about the meal service practices.

To access rooms in the shelter, magnetic stripe identity cards are employed. These frequently stop working, occasionally at embarassing times such as when someone returns from the shower. The card must be taken to the main floor counter to be reprogrammed, showing off the holder's physique or scant state of dress to all those loiterers who inhabit the lobby area. Staff offer excuses, such as being near magnetic fields. (This client's bank card has been exposed to the same "fields" and has never had to be reinitialized during his stay.)

The room is frequently very cold, with no heat, and with only a small blanket for comfort. Perhaps a person in another room with the thermostat is a fresh air fiend, or maybe he is just keeping his beer chilled. It is also not possible to heat water in the room, with the only hot water being available from the cafeteria during mealtimes.

The front staff desk is frequently understaffed, resulting in abnormally long waits for simple transactions. And there are numerous "Mom notes", telling that they will not refund meal tickets without a "team leader's" approval, for example. At no time have they explained exactly which team leader is responsible for each client, or what their functions are (other than to harass residents). The staff also seem to be undertrained and uninformed, perhaps part of an internal policy that states that they are to make residents feel unwelcome there at all times, that those who are homeless are an encumbrance to their operation.

Which brings us back to those numerous posters hung on the walls, which proclaim what services the shelters offer to the clients. More often candidates for "fictitious advertising" awards than for honest, truthful descriptions of what really happens within those shelters. But why should they be any different? The Provincial Government displays equally deceptive posters and advertising of what they offer to homeless and unemployed persons. Pro-business but not pro-ethics, nor respect for basic human rights.

As stated in one of Firesign Theatre's albums, "The humiliation and total degradation of ...You, the Little Guy".

Written by Anonymous45