Christmas Blues

How are you? I am doing as good as I possibly can. I really don't have a lot to say today, but I still thought it best to write a blog about how things are going.

First of all, I haven't used in the last week. I think its more or less because i haven't really been feeling all that well, also its because i have been a little depressed.

Christmas is a time of year that is supposed to be about family in my opinion, and i don't have any of my family around to share the holidays with. I miss being a part of a family and i would say that my only wish for this season is to find out what the hell is going on with my children.

I actually hate thinking about them because it depresses me that they are not a part of my life and i wonder whether they think of me at all. It may not mean much, but I do hope they have a very merry Christmas.

Lately I seem to be tired all the time and very lazy. Its almost as though i have already given up on this fight in my life. I really don't have the energy that i had up until just a couple of months ago. My whole world seems to be about just making it through another day.

I would like to quickly wish all of my followers a very merry Christmas and happy new year. I hope that i will be able to continue writing these blogs. Actually it is just a matter of time before i leave Calgary, i am just getting tired of this person i have become and plan on moving somewhere where no one knows of me and maybe i can try a new life that i can be a better person. The truth is, i don't think i am a good person, there are things in my life that i am not proud of. Basically, i am sick and tired of putting on a happy face, when deep down inside i feel a lot of pain. Not to mention that i have feelings of anger, confusion and shame.

I actually hope that an angel will appear and guide me into a new year in which i can find some happiness, that's all i ever really wanted in life, to be happy every day. Really, I don't think that its too much to ask. Is it?

Ive really enjoyed writing for you, my reader, and hopefully this season will be over soon and I can try and get on with a better life.

I want to say sorry if i seem a little down but i cant lie and say that everything is great when its not.

Again, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Homeless
Depressed
Alone
Hopefully, I will talk to you next year.

Tim Barber