Relapse

I thought I would update you on my circumstances. I really screwed up last Friday night, I ended up going out and having a few beer and then wound up using crack once again after actually having 3 and half months of clean time. I can tell you first hand that addiction is very powerful and it got a hold of me and I wound up falling. I now need to pick myself up and try and learn from my mistakes. I really thought that I was doing well and that I was becoming cured, and boy was I wrong. Addiction has been a part of my life for about 25 years now and I have to remember that if I don’t stop everything completely, I will never have what I would call a normal life. Then again, what really is a normal life? I just want to be able to have all the good things. I guess the biggest thing I am missing in my life is my children. I think that if I continue to use drugs or alcohol, then I will never have them back in my life. I think that a part of me was saying that I could eventually go out and have a few beers without thinking about using crack cocaine. I found out that I can not use any kind of mood altering drug, whether it be alcohol or even weed for that matter. Anything I use chemically will end up with me using crack and this is not the direction I want my life going. I want to continue to write for this blog and continue my pursuit of finishing my autobiography. I hope that I will not have another relapse any time in the near future, and I hope to learn from my mistakes and look forward in life. I thank all those that read my blog and hope you will continue to read articles from one of our 4 authors. I look forward to writing more in the near future.
Talk with you soon.
Tim Barber,
Homeless but not without HOPE