HOW?

When I put my mind to it, I can do anything. Proof, will be in my actions. I have a lot of growing up to do , in order to actually grow up. Does this make any sense?

I need to change the way I think, I also need to change my old habits. HOW?

As it is said I most of the anonymous meeting, it is important to be:
HONEST
OPENMINDED
WILLINGNESS

These are three things that usually come easy to me in my life.

#1-Honesty

I have always tried to be honest in my life. Somehow I lost that honesty while I was in my using ways. So, for me, its just a matter of staying clean from alcohol and drugs. Thus, I will stay honest.

I am not ashamed of being an addict, if anything it has made me a much stronger person in life, mentally. Don’t get the wrong impression, I will not go back to drugs and alcohol just to prove this point. The point is, I am a smart person who knows now what it is like to be hooked on some sort of drug or another. And the bottom line to you, my reader is, alcohol is also a drug...period. I know now the effects it has on me and on others, including my friends and my family. I could go on and on about this but that can wait for another time.

#2-Open-Minded

I have to be open to new ideas, I need not just open my ears and let information through like a river to the outside where it gets lost in the world around me. I need to put cotton baton in one ear and be able to absorb the information and things people are telling me. This applies to people who are trying to help me in my recovery. I may not like some of these suggestions but I realize that so long as I am open-minded about the suggestions being made and at least give them thought, it may be something that will help me in my recovery further down the road. It could be as simple as reading some literature or any idea for that matter. So long as I have an open mind about what is said or suggested. It couldn’t hurt!

#3-Willingness

This one sounds like it would be easy considering I never had a problem, being I was always willing to try new drugs and to do new things all through my life. Some of these things I became very ashamed of and at this time I will not get into them as I will be revealing all in my book. Which I hope you all will read. Yes, that means you too! You, reading this blog.

For me, willingness means going that extra mile to remain clean and sober. Whether I am setting up for a meeting, being someone to talk to or even volunteering. Basically, I want to give back to those who have helped in my road to recovery. This is something I have already begun to do and I will continue to do so. I actually feel so much better about these little things that I am doing now, where it almost makes me feel high! It is a high on life which has become my new addiction, a healthy one!

Its actually weird when I look at the open-mindness and willingness part because I was always this way when it came to alcohol and drugs. I need to now take this to a whole new level. As it says in the third step of Anonymous programs. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him.

To me, this means my thoughts and actions. I need to change the way I think and I need to take action. It seems pretty easy, but it is going to take a lot of work.

For so many years now I have always drank or used drugs to cope with the way I feel. Dealing with the trauma of past events and the pain I endured, the anger, the guilt and the grief are among the many things that I didn’t want to deal with without some sort of drug. I was self medicating. Now I am focusing on my support network that I am building in order to deal with these thoughts and feelings in a more healthy way. No longer will I run from my problems but I will confront them with the help of others, including you, my reader.

I know that deep down inside of me there is a good person that wants to come out and every day a little piece of me does. Only because I am staying clean and sober. I believe there is good in each and every individual on this earth. Each person I believe has a unique gift given to them. It may take many years to find out that gift and purpose but it is well worth pursuing. I personally am going to try my very best to be the very best version of myself that I could possibly be.

In other news for my followers:

I am still clean and sober and I am in my first week of AADAC day program and I find myself sharing some of the skeletons from my closet to some great group members. I actually had a great deal of relief sharing one experience today which nobody judged me for and it totally blows me away that I actually am getting some closure in my life. This doesn’t mean I am cured by no means and I still have plenty of work left to do but it feels great to be me today.

I am also currently working on a small project for this blog. I am trying to get others involved by writing their stories so we can share our stories with you. I would hope then when I do get some more authors on this blog, you will sow them the same compassion you have shown me over the past year. Can you believe this blog is over a year old? I encourage you to leave comments to new authors as you have done to me. I hope that by getting our voices heard, we can change peoples lives even if its one person at a time.

I love you all, until next time. Good morning, good afternoon and good-night!

Tim Barber
(Timbits)

P.S- Please talk to a homeless person today and spend fifteen minutes, let them share their story with you, you might be surprised by what they have to say. What have you got to lose?

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