Wow, its another snowfall for Calgary. Does not surprise me, if you wait ten minutes, you will see the sunshine. Got to love being a Calgarian! Even better, I love being a clean and sober Calgarian. This is not an easy task, but I am doing it.
I’ve now been in my new place for two weeks and things are coming along nicely. I also try to get out every day and get fresh air. I have tried going down to the Central library on several occasions and had no luck getting on the computer. I decided to try this library up in my area. It is the Village Square branch and I walked in and was able to get on a computer immediately. Woohoo!
So now I write another blog. I write not only for you, my reader, but I write for the therapeutic value of just being able to share my story. I write for me!
When I first moved into my place I can honestly say that I was scared of being alone for the first time in many years. However, I now realize that I really am not alone so long as I continue to pray to God, and to get out to meetings and meet new people. Actually, I have made friends with Angeline and her husband and they even had me over for dinner one night last week, it was fantastic. I was also introduced to a couple of their friends. The first person they introduced me too was Kristina and her adorable daughter Trinity. I will be honest and say that I was attracted to Kristina right from the first moment I saw her. However, I also realize that it was just my hormones working in overdrive. I need to focus on me and stop thinking about a relationship. I think it was just that I haven’t been with any one in some time now and feel like I need the love of someone in my life. Anyway, I need to watch my thinking, so I went and had a cold shower, lol.
The next person I was introduced to was another friend of Angeline’s and Graham’s, was a guy named Glenn. Nice guy, but really we didn’t really get a chance to talk much, he was hoping to meet with his girlfriend and she never showed up, that’s a woman for you. Maybe its a lesson for me that I don’t need one in my life right now.
In other news, I managed to get a nice entertainment unit for my place and it almost looks brand new. Its new to me. I’m actually looking forward to the 27th when I get to go pick out some more furniture from the Drop Inn Centre Furniture program. The biggest thing that I hope to get from them is a dining room table and chairs as well as a washer and dryer. Of course anything extra that I get would be a big bonus. Then again, I also have an opportunity to go to the Interfaith Furniture Store the very next day and pick out some other things that I might need. Did I ever mention to you, my reader, that I can be very resourceful. Well, now you know! My life is just getting better and better every day.
Its really because I am starting to focus more and more on my future and God willing, it will be a future back with my children. As a matter a fact, I am looking so forward to the court date for access on the 27th as well. Man, my life really is good, so long as I stay clean and sober.
Before I finish up, I wanted to mention that I have also been under the weather the last couple of days, it all started with an itchy throat and now I feel sickly. This however will not stop me from getting out and getting fresh air, and it will not stop me from going downtown tonight to help Kim, with Walking with the Homeless. This is a very important part in my recovery and it really is to me, paying it forward. I know what it is like to live in the shelter system, I was there up until just two weeks ago, so I want to help to give back my time to help those who are still struggling.
Before I go, I want to thank all my readers for your support you have shown me and I do hope that you will leave all of your encouraging comments as you have done in the past. You have been a big part in my recovery and I thank you so very much.
Enjoy the weather
Stay warm
Your writer,
Tim Barber
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Change Is Good!
Its such a great day here in Calgary. Well, at least we got rid of that nasty snowstorm,,, no more snow til May long weekend..lol..
Sunny and warm today and I am no longer living homeless. My biggest problem now is trying to keep myself busy. However , I will continue to write for this blog and hope that soon I will have others writing on here as well. I actually hope to get other stories and post them myself. It may take some time but I am determined to do this.
I moved into my 1 bedroom apartment on Thursday March 31, and I have to say that I have been nothing but smiles the last few days. Its actually comical, because I could barely sleep that very first night and when I finally did sleep, it was only for about 6 hours. I actually woke up in this new place and it dawned on me that it was April 1st.
April Fools. Not! I am actually in my own place, this is not a joke! I was accepted to the Keys To Recovery program and they actually set you up with a bed, a dresser, 2 night tables, a coffee table and a couch. They also take you out and let you buy 200 dollars in groceries and another 120 dollars in essentials such as bedding, towels, dishes and other household essentials. It was so awesome that I couldn't stop smiling all through the Walmart store. By the way, that's where we did all the shopping.
Keys to Recovery will also provide me with support on a weekly basis to help me integrate back into society over the next year. They will help me to make personal goals as well as staying clean and sober. I have to tell you that I have never felt so damn determined in my recovery and I know that I can do this. I am so damn proud of myself for the things I have already accomplished and I have not even begun to aim for the bigger things in life.
I actually go out every day just to enjoy some fresh air and I am making it to meetings. I know that I will have to continue with the every day things that have brought me this far, and I need to remember what my past was like, I will not shut the door on the past, but I will live in the present.
I already have applied to get into the CTI program at the Drop Inn Center. It is actually a program that runs for 3 weeks and I will end up with 16 different tickets that will help with finding employment. Some of these tickets are first aid, forklift and computer training. There are more then that, but it would take too long to explain them all. Maybe in another blog once I actually start the program. I also put in for a computer and for some more furniture at the Drop Inn.
As for today, I am going to one of my favourite meetings at United Church, it is called Celebrating Recovery, and that is exactly what I want to do, celebrate my recovery but without the use of alcohol or drugs. Thank you God!
I really don't know what else to say, except thank you to all my followers for all your support, I really couldn't have done this without you and I hope that you will continue to leave your comments as usual. I wish all of you the happiness in life that you so deserve. Please pay it forward.
God is Good.
All the time.
Thanks for listening
Tim Barber
Sunny and warm today and I am no longer living homeless. My biggest problem now is trying to keep myself busy. However , I will continue to write for this blog and hope that soon I will have others writing on here as well. I actually hope to get other stories and post them myself. It may take some time but I am determined to do this.
I moved into my 1 bedroom apartment on Thursday March 31, and I have to say that I have been nothing but smiles the last few days. Its actually comical, because I could barely sleep that very first night and when I finally did sleep, it was only for about 6 hours. I actually woke up in this new place and it dawned on me that it was April 1st.
April Fools. Not! I am actually in my own place, this is not a joke! I was accepted to the Keys To Recovery program and they actually set you up with a bed, a dresser, 2 night tables, a coffee table and a couch. They also take you out and let you buy 200 dollars in groceries and another 120 dollars in essentials such as bedding, towels, dishes and other household essentials. It was so awesome that I couldn't stop smiling all through the Walmart store. By the way, that's where we did all the shopping.
Keys to Recovery will also provide me with support on a weekly basis to help me integrate back into society over the next year. They will help me to make personal goals as well as staying clean and sober. I have to tell you that I have never felt so damn determined in my recovery and I know that I can do this. I am so damn proud of myself for the things I have already accomplished and I have not even begun to aim for the bigger things in life.
I actually go out every day just to enjoy some fresh air and I am making it to meetings. I know that I will have to continue with the every day things that have brought me this far, and I need to remember what my past was like, I will not shut the door on the past, but I will live in the present.
I already have applied to get into the CTI program at the Drop Inn Center. It is actually a program that runs for 3 weeks and I will end up with 16 different tickets that will help with finding employment. Some of these tickets are first aid, forklift and computer training. There are more then that, but it would take too long to explain them all. Maybe in another blog once I actually start the program. I also put in for a computer and for some more furniture at the Drop Inn.
As for today, I am going to one of my favourite meetings at United Church, it is called Celebrating Recovery, and that is exactly what I want to do, celebrate my recovery but without the use of alcohol or drugs. Thank you God!
I really don't know what else to say, except thank you to all my followers for all your support, I really couldn't have done this without you and I hope that you will continue to leave your comments as usual. I wish all of you the happiness in life that you so deserve. Please pay it forward.
God is Good.
All the time.
Thanks for listening
Tim Barber
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Amazing! God is Good!
Hello to all of you! It is a glorious day in my silly silly life. That's just a line from Pink! I feel so alive and so full of energy. I am so proud of myself for continuing with my clean and sober ways. Every day that goes by, I feel so much more confident in myself that I can remain clean and sober.
I would like to welcome my newest follower, Surina, welcome to my blog. I call it my blog, because I am now the administrator and have the power to invite other authors. I am going to ask all of my followers, if you know any one that is homeless or has experienced homelessness, to please email me and get involved. I am also starting a project that will get others heard in the near future. It involves talking to the homeless and getting their story. I am actually still working on some questions I think would be beneficial for you, my reader , to know about homelessness.
In other news, which there has been some drastic developments in my upcoming future and i think i will share them with you now. I know! Quit mumbling and get on with it, but first I just want to tell you once again what a wonderful world it is that we live in. I am just so happy to be a Calgarian, with all the wonderful people that i have in my life.
For one, Kim has been such an inspiration for me as each and every one of you has as well been instrumental in my recovery. Really, I don't know how to say thank you enough. How about I just let you know the news. No crying allowed.
First of all, I was accepted into the Keys to Recovery program. I will be looking at a few one bedroom places next week and i get to pick the one I like. Then i get to move into this place by myself within 2 days following my very own choice. Wow. I'm so excited as i tell you this i have a great big grin on my face. Oh boy! Oh boy! Sorry, I'm just so darn happy. Doping my happy dance every day. I also have to say thank you "God". This is the best thing that has happened in years.
But that's not all folks, no, not at all. It just so happens that I was talking to my lawyer on the same day I was accepted to Keys to Recovery and .....The court date is set for April 27th to get access to seeing my kids. Oh Boy! oh Boy!. Did I mention that I am so hyper, elated, excited, joyous, grateful,. Yes, I think I did. Can you tell?
Anyway, over the next month I will be filling you in on all the details of my move in, and letting you know more about every day activities that I plan on getting involved in. I have to remember with all this excitement, that I still need to take it day by day.
One last thing before I go, I want to say thank you again to all my followers for posting comments on my blogs and as well as on facebook. I really do appreciate all your comments and encourage you to continue posting them.
Also, thank you Kim, for getting things from The Mustard Seed for my new place, you really are an Angel, you know that, don't you?
A special thank you goes out as well to Trudy who works at the Mustard Seed and let me pick out lots of things for my place including a really fantastic TV. God bless you and the Mustard Seed for all your work with the homeless.
Last but not least. I sure am going to miss all the staff at the Alpha House. They were a very big part in the changes in my life and I really wouldn't have been able to do this without them. I am forever grateful for your compassion and kindness. I know you will all miss me there, and if you want I will come back and visit everyday..lol..I can see the look on a few staff members faces thinking, no, stay away.. just kidding.. I know how much you people will miss my good nature..admit it..I love you all. Thank You
I would like to welcome my newest follower, Surina, welcome to my blog. I call it my blog, because I am now the administrator and have the power to invite other authors. I am going to ask all of my followers, if you know any one that is homeless or has experienced homelessness, to please email me and get involved. I am also starting a project that will get others heard in the near future. It involves talking to the homeless and getting their story. I am actually still working on some questions I think would be beneficial for you, my reader , to know about homelessness.
In other news, which there has been some drastic developments in my upcoming future and i think i will share them with you now. I know! Quit mumbling and get on with it, but first I just want to tell you once again what a wonderful world it is that we live in. I am just so happy to be a Calgarian, with all the wonderful people that i have in my life.
For one, Kim has been such an inspiration for me as each and every one of you has as well been instrumental in my recovery. Really, I don't know how to say thank you enough. How about I just let you know the news. No crying allowed.
First of all, I was accepted into the Keys to Recovery program. I will be looking at a few one bedroom places next week and i get to pick the one I like. Then i get to move into this place by myself within 2 days following my very own choice. Wow. I'm so excited as i tell you this i have a great big grin on my face. Oh boy! Oh boy! Sorry, I'm just so darn happy. Doping my happy dance every day. I also have to say thank you "God". This is the best thing that has happened in years.
But that's not all folks, no, not at all. It just so happens that I was talking to my lawyer on the same day I was accepted to Keys to Recovery and .....The court date is set for April 27th to get access to seeing my kids. Oh Boy! oh Boy!. Did I mention that I am so hyper, elated, excited, joyous, grateful,. Yes, I think I did. Can you tell?
Anyway, over the next month I will be filling you in on all the details of my move in, and letting you know more about every day activities that I plan on getting involved in. I have to remember with all this excitement, that I still need to take it day by day.
One last thing before I go, I want to say thank you again to all my followers for posting comments on my blogs and as well as on facebook. I really do appreciate all your comments and encourage you to continue posting them.
Also, thank you Kim, for getting things from The Mustard Seed for my new place, you really are an Angel, you know that, don't you?
A special thank you goes out as well to Trudy who works at the Mustard Seed and let me pick out lots of things for my place including a really fantastic TV. God bless you and the Mustard Seed for all your work with the homeless.
Last but not least. I sure am going to miss all the staff at the Alpha House. They were a very big part in the changes in my life and I really wouldn't have been able to do this without them. I am forever grateful for your compassion and kindness. I know you will all miss me there, and if you want I will come back and visit everyday..lol..I can see the look on a few staff members faces thinking, no, stay away.. just kidding.. I know how much you people will miss my good nature..admit it..I love you all. Thank You
Friday, March 18, 2011
Joyous Times
Happy Birthday to me.
Its such a good day to be clean and sober. I feel so young and alive. I feel like I am 20 all over again. In fact I am only 23 today! NOT! Actually 44, ouch!
I am so happy today because I got my affidavit signed by a commissioner of oath, which is to go to my family lawyer to possibly see my kids by as early s the end of April. It has taken many years to accomplish this and I am so looking forward to the day I once again reunite with my children.
I have also graduated from the AADAC program and even have a certificate.. I think I am cured! NOT!! I still have the rest of my life being an addict and I now need to make the right choices in order to maintain my recovery. I have the choice whether or not I want to be in active addiction or a recovering addict. I choose recovery.
I realize that this affidavit I signed means a big turning point in my life and I will likely have a lot of emotions coming into my life over the next few months and I have to handle them without the use of drugs and alcohol.
My biggest plus is that I have a great support network in this blog and on facebook. I need you, my reader more then ever to start leaving encouraging words and comments more then ever. Also, over the next few months as I go forward, I may have some very emotional days and I will need people to talk to. I surely will look to you all for support. I will also pray to God that he helps with my little problems, I now know that can do this and I will not give up. The only thing I will give up, is drugs and alcohol. Simple!
I would love to say that it is simple, however, I have been using for a good two thirds of my life and I have to continue doing all the little things that help me in my recovery.
Some of these things I will list now and if you can think of anything else that may help me in my recovery, please do not hesitate to leave remarks of your suggestions. I am willing to try anything if it helps my recovery...Here we go;
Facebook Friends
Journaling
Writing my book
12 Step meetings
Looking for a sponsor
Counseling
Reading recovery books
I could probably think of more, I want your ideas now.
Thanks for listening.
I look forward to all your comments.
Tim Barber
Its such a good day to be clean and sober. I feel so young and alive. I feel like I am 20 all over again. In fact I am only 23 today! NOT! Actually 44, ouch!
I am so happy today because I got my affidavit signed by a commissioner of oath, which is to go to my family lawyer to possibly see my kids by as early s the end of April. It has taken many years to accomplish this and I am so looking forward to the day I once again reunite with my children.
I have also graduated from the AADAC program and even have a certificate.. I think I am cured! NOT!! I still have the rest of my life being an addict and I now need to make the right choices in order to maintain my recovery. I have the choice whether or not I want to be in active addiction or a recovering addict. I choose recovery.
I realize that this affidavit I signed means a big turning point in my life and I will likely have a lot of emotions coming into my life over the next few months and I have to handle them without the use of drugs and alcohol.
My biggest plus is that I have a great support network in this blog and on facebook. I need you, my reader more then ever to start leaving encouraging words and comments more then ever. Also, over the next few months as I go forward, I may have some very emotional days and I will need people to talk to. I surely will look to you all for support. I will also pray to God that he helps with my little problems, I now know that can do this and I will not give up. The only thing I will give up, is drugs and alcohol. Simple!
I would love to say that it is simple, however, I have been using for a good two thirds of my life and I have to continue doing all the little things that help me in my recovery.
Some of these things I will list now and if you can think of anything else that may help me in my recovery, please do not hesitate to leave remarks of your suggestions. I am willing to try anything if it helps my recovery...Here we go;
Facebook Friends
Journaling
Writing my book
12 Step meetings
Looking for a sponsor
Counseling
Reading recovery books
I could probably think of more, I want your ideas now.
Thanks for listening.
I look forward to all your comments.
Tim Barber
Monday, March 14, 2011
The Happy Dance!! lol
Everything I do these days seems to be addiction related. This is not such a bad thing considering how early it is in my recovery this time around. I am almost finished with my AADAC program and finding myself wondering what I can do next to keep myself busy during the day.
I think I will try and find somewhere that I can volunteer my services to keep me from getting bored. There is another slogan which I find effective in preventing a relapse, its called HALT
Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired
If I find myself getting into one of these areas it is not a good thing.
Right at the present time I am being fed very well by the Alpha House Society, so I don’t need to worry about that until I actually leave Alpha House. Then it is very important that I continue to feed myself and keep my weight up to what it is at the present time.
As for being angry, well I am not one that actually gets angry all that often and I do know that it is a normal emotion so long as I deal with anger when it presents itself and don’t let it build up. Its funny, how can I be angry when every morning I wake up and do my Happy Dance...lol...
As for being lonely, well this one seems pretty basic to me... Go to meetings every night and I should be OK... However that being said, I need to also get out and meet new people who are not using and are willing to help me in my recovery. I need people who like to go for walks, have coffee, play cards, etc...etc...I need people just like you reading this blog.
Tired , so tired, well my medication seems to be giving me more energy to be able to have a fulfilling day and I am getting my 8 hours of sleep every night, so I am good.....
I cant believe I actually have 32 days in clean and sober, where has the time gone? I even still have some money in the bank, can you believe it? Wow!!! Let me say that just one more time, Wow!! I feel really proud of myself the way I have changed the way of thinking, I am able to cope with my emotions without the use of drugs or alcohol... I really have found a new way of life, my life... I need not worry about what will happen the rest of the day, I need worry only worry about the here and now. Even then, why worry?
I really don’t no what else to say at this time , except to thank you all for your support, couldn’t do it without you.
All the best,
Tim Barber
Have you stopped to take time for a talk with a homeless person. It only takes 15 minutes of your time and it is well worth it. Don’t let this opportunity pass you by, it could literally make the difference in a persons life. I encourage you, go now, talk with a homeless person, stop reading my blog and go, I MEAN NOW!!!!!!
I think I will try and find somewhere that I can volunteer my services to keep me from getting bored. There is another slogan which I find effective in preventing a relapse, its called HALT
Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired
If I find myself getting into one of these areas it is not a good thing.
Right at the present time I am being fed very well by the Alpha House Society, so I don’t need to worry about that until I actually leave Alpha House. Then it is very important that I continue to feed myself and keep my weight up to what it is at the present time.
As for being angry, well I am not one that actually gets angry all that often and I do know that it is a normal emotion so long as I deal with anger when it presents itself and don’t let it build up. Its funny, how can I be angry when every morning I wake up and do my Happy Dance...lol...
As for being lonely, well this one seems pretty basic to me... Go to meetings every night and I should be OK... However that being said, I need to also get out and meet new people who are not using and are willing to help me in my recovery. I need people who like to go for walks, have coffee, play cards, etc...etc...I need people just like you reading this blog.
Tired , so tired, well my medication seems to be giving me more energy to be able to have a fulfilling day and I am getting my 8 hours of sleep every night, so I am good.....
I cant believe I actually have 32 days in clean and sober, where has the time gone? I even still have some money in the bank, can you believe it? Wow!!! Let me say that just one more time, Wow!! I feel really proud of myself the way I have changed the way of thinking, I am able to cope with my emotions without the use of drugs or alcohol... I really have found a new way of life, my life... I need not worry about what will happen the rest of the day, I need worry only worry about the here and now. Even then, why worry?
I really don’t no what else to say at this time , except to thank you all for your support, couldn’t do it without you.
All the best,
Tim Barber
Have you stopped to take time for a talk with a homeless person. It only takes 15 minutes of your time and it is well worth it. Don’t let this opportunity pass you by, it could literally make the difference in a persons life. I encourage you, go now, talk with a homeless person, stop reading my blog and go, I MEAN NOW!!!!!!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Untitled
As I sit here in my glass house with all the fakeness and pain that I am enduring, as I sit and wonder, will you drink today, will you question me, will you call me a whore, will you lash your fist in anger , is it my illness the drink, Yes, you made it mine. I become so intense with your anger and pain, but today as I wake in my lonely bed, I feel safe, but as I turn the corner outside my room and see you with the day after looking glassy eyed and fucked up, I wonder how long the shit will start, the pain will lash out soon, I want to run but my feet won’t let me. I am buried in your pain and anger, I tingle from head to toe feeling your pain, I try as I might to keep you out, but you creep back in, your promise of no more drink, but the drink takes over and your pain turns to anger and the fist will shake and the pain will unlock your nightmares that become my own, as I sit here and wonder…
The day after you are full of tears and regret, but I know it will be short lived, but I want to believe you, I want to sit in that sunshine with you and feel the sun on our bodies and no more pain, the promises you gave to me are all but dreams, as I sit here and wonder and you in another place with your drink in hand, I wait for your pain to become mine.
As I sit here and wonder, I am scared, I am lonely, the pain becomes so great, because the drinking becomes more, the anger becomes worse and the threats seem strange to me because I don’t give a damn of your pain, I want it gone, I want you gone I want to breathe good air and good times. I want to bask in the sunshine with no anger or guilt that you will throw. Oh I am done with your guilt and your lies of yesterday, your anger is yours, not mine, but I sit here and tremble of what may happen today. You won’t leave, but you won’t share, the only thing you share is the painful bruises and hurts that you have inflicted upon me.
As I sit here in the middle of the day and wait for you to arrive, you walk in drunk and full of hate for your pain and bitterness, you look different, you feel slimy, the pain is starting,,, you say, I am sorry in a slurred voice, you say, I don’t want to frighten you little girl, but your rage is still there, are you tricking me, I wait and sit, not moving a muscle in fear that you will see that as me being sarcastic, I nod and agree with everything you say because you want me to believe those awful things you have said, Whore, wicked, evil, you tell me I have addictions, I do, it is you, but I want you to go so my additions will heal.
As I sit here and wonder……
This was written by a woman that has finally said, Goodbye to that life. She wanted me to share this with the group…
Anonymous
Posted by Tim Barber on this brave woman's behalf with permission from a very dear support in my life, Kim Gagnon
Thank you
Please leave encouraging comments
Remember to always Pay it Forward
The day after you are full of tears and regret, but I know it will be short lived, but I want to believe you, I want to sit in that sunshine with you and feel the sun on our bodies and no more pain, the promises you gave to me are all but dreams, as I sit here and wonder and you in another place with your drink in hand, I wait for your pain to become mine.
As I sit here and wonder, I am scared, I am lonely, the pain becomes so great, because the drinking becomes more, the anger becomes worse and the threats seem strange to me because I don’t give a damn of your pain, I want it gone, I want you gone I want to breathe good air and good times. I want to bask in the sunshine with no anger or guilt that you will throw. Oh I am done with your guilt and your lies of yesterday, your anger is yours, not mine, but I sit here and tremble of what may happen today. You won’t leave, but you won’t share, the only thing you share is the painful bruises and hurts that you have inflicted upon me.
As I sit here in the middle of the day and wait for you to arrive, you walk in drunk and full of hate for your pain and bitterness, you look different, you feel slimy, the pain is starting,,, you say, I am sorry in a slurred voice, you say, I don’t want to frighten you little girl, but your rage is still there, are you tricking me, I wait and sit, not moving a muscle in fear that you will see that as me being sarcastic, I nod and agree with everything you say because you want me to believe those awful things you have said, Whore, wicked, evil, you tell me I have addictions, I do, it is you, but I want you to go so my additions will heal.
As I sit here and wonder……
This was written by a woman that has finally said, Goodbye to that life. She wanted me to share this with the group…
Anonymous
Posted by Tim Barber on this brave woman's behalf with permission from a very dear support in my life, Kim Gagnon
Thank you
Please leave encouraging comments
Remember to always Pay it Forward
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
HOW?
When I put my mind to it, I can do anything. Proof, will be in my actions. I have a lot of growing up to do , in order to actually grow up. Does this make any sense?
I need to change the way I think, I also need to change my old habits. HOW?
As it is said I most of the anonymous meeting, it is important to be:
HONEST
OPENMINDED
WILLINGNESS
These are three things that usually come easy to me in my life.
#1-Honesty
I have always tried to be honest in my life. Somehow I lost that honesty while I was in my using ways. So, for me, its just a matter of staying clean from alcohol and drugs. Thus, I will stay honest.
I am not ashamed of being an addict, if anything it has made me a much stronger person in life, mentally. Don’t get the wrong impression, I will not go back to drugs and alcohol just to prove this point. The point is, I am a smart person who knows now what it is like to be hooked on some sort of drug or another. And the bottom line to you, my reader is, alcohol is also a drug...period. I know now the effects it has on me and on others, including my friends and my family. I could go on and on about this but that can wait for another time.
#2-Open-Minded
I have to be open to new ideas, I need not just open my ears and let information through like a river to the outside where it gets lost in the world around me. I need to put cotton baton in one ear and be able to absorb the information and things people are telling me. This applies to people who are trying to help me in my recovery. I may not like some of these suggestions but I realize that so long as I am open-minded about the suggestions being made and at least give them thought, it may be something that will help me in my recovery further down the road. It could be as simple as reading some literature or any idea for that matter. So long as I have an open mind about what is said or suggested. It couldn’t hurt!
#3-Willingness
This one sounds like it would be easy considering I never had a problem, being I was always willing to try new drugs and to do new things all through my life. Some of these things I became very ashamed of and at this time I will not get into them as I will be revealing all in my book. Which I hope you all will read. Yes, that means you too! You, reading this blog.
For me, willingness means going that extra mile to remain clean and sober. Whether I am setting up for a meeting, being someone to talk to or even volunteering. Basically, I want to give back to those who have helped in my road to recovery. This is something I have already begun to do and I will continue to do so. I actually feel so much better about these little things that I am doing now, where it almost makes me feel high! It is a high on life which has become my new addiction, a healthy one!
Its actually weird when I look at the open-mindness and willingness part because I was always this way when it came to alcohol and drugs. I need to now take this to a whole new level. As it says in the third step of Anonymous programs. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him.
To me, this means my thoughts and actions. I need to change the way I think and I need to take action. It seems pretty easy, but it is going to take a lot of work.
For so many years now I have always drank or used drugs to cope with the way I feel. Dealing with the trauma of past events and the pain I endured, the anger, the guilt and the grief are among the many things that I didn’t want to deal with without some sort of drug. I was self medicating. Now I am focusing on my support network that I am building in order to deal with these thoughts and feelings in a more healthy way. No longer will I run from my problems but I will confront them with the help of others, including you, my reader.
I know that deep down inside of me there is a good person that wants to come out and every day a little piece of me does. Only because I am staying clean and sober. I believe there is good in each and every individual on this earth. Each person I believe has a unique gift given to them. It may take many years to find out that gift and purpose but it is well worth pursuing. I personally am going to try my very best to be the very best version of myself that I could possibly be.
In other news for my followers:
I am still clean and sober and I am in my first week of AADAC day program and I find myself sharing some of the skeletons from my closet to some great group members. I actually had a great deal of relief sharing one experience today which nobody judged me for and it totally blows me away that I actually am getting some closure in my life. This doesn’t mean I am cured by no means and I still have plenty of work left to do but it feels great to be me today.
I am also currently working on a small project for this blog. I am trying to get others involved by writing their stories so we can share our stories with you. I would hope then when I do get some more authors on this blog, you will sow them the same compassion you have shown me over the past year. Can you believe this blog is over a year old? I encourage you to leave comments to new authors as you have done to me. I hope that by getting our voices heard, we can change peoples lives even if its one person at a time.
I love you all, until next time. Good morning, good afternoon and good-night!
Tim Barber
(Timbits)
P.S- Please talk to a homeless person today and spend fifteen minutes, let them share their story with you, you might be surprised by what they have to say. What have you got to lose?
WANTED: Encouraging Comments
I need to change the way I think, I also need to change my old habits. HOW?
As it is said I most of the anonymous meeting, it is important to be:
HONEST
OPENMINDED
WILLINGNESS
These are three things that usually come easy to me in my life.
#1-Honesty
I have always tried to be honest in my life. Somehow I lost that honesty while I was in my using ways. So, for me, its just a matter of staying clean from alcohol and drugs. Thus, I will stay honest.
I am not ashamed of being an addict, if anything it has made me a much stronger person in life, mentally. Don’t get the wrong impression, I will not go back to drugs and alcohol just to prove this point. The point is, I am a smart person who knows now what it is like to be hooked on some sort of drug or another. And the bottom line to you, my reader is, alcohol is also a drug...period. I know now the effects it has on me and on others, including my friends and my family. I could go on and on about this but that can wait for another time.
#2-Open-Minded
I have to be open to new ideas, I need not just open my ears and let information through like a river to the outside where it gets lost in the world around me. I need to put cotton baton in one ear and be able to absorb the information and things people are telling me. This applies to people who are trying to help me in my recovery. I may not like some of these suggestions but I realize that so long as I am open-minded about the suggestions being made and at least give them thought, it may be something that will help me in my recovery further down the road. It could be as simple as reading some literature or any idea for that matter. So long as I have an open mind about what is said or suggested. It couldn’t hurt!
#3-Willingness
This one sounds like it would be easy considering I never had a problem, being I was always willing to try new drugs and to do new things all through my life. Some of these things I became very ashamed of and at this time I will not get into them as I will be revealing all in my book. Which I hope you all will read. Yes, that means you too! You, reading this blog.
For me, willingness means going that extra mile to remain clean and sober. Whether I am setting up for a meeting, being someone to talk to or even volunteering. Basically, I want to give back to those who have helped in my road to recovery. This is something I have already begun to do and I will continue to do so. I actually feel so much better about these little things that I am doing now, where it almost makes me feel high! It is a high on life which has become my new addiction, a healthy one!
Its actually weird when I look at the open-mindness and willingness part because I was always this way when it came to alcohol and drugs. I need to now take this to a whole new level. As it says in the third step of Anonymous programs. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him.
To me, this means my thoughts and actions. I need to change the way I think and I need to take action. It seems pretty easy, but it is going to take a lot of work.
For so many years now I have always drank or used drugs to cope with the way I feel. Dealing with the trauma of past events and the pain I endured, the anger, the guilt and the grief are among the many things that I didn’t want to deal with without some sort of drug. I was self medicating. Now I am focusing on my support network that I am building in order to deal with these thoughts and feelings in a more healthy way. No longer will I run from my problems but I will confront them with the help of others, including you, my reader.
I know that deep down inside of me there is a good person that wants to come out and every day a little piece of me does. Only because I am staying clean and sober. I believe there is good in each and every individual on this earth. Each person I believe has a unique gift given to them. It may take many years to find out that gift and purpose but it is well worth pursuing. I personally am going to try my very best to be the very best version of myself that I could possibly be.
In other news for my followers:
I am still clean and sober and I am in my first week of AADAC day program and I find myself sharing some of the skeletons from my closet to some great group members. I actually had a great deal of relief sharing one experience today which nobody judged me for and it totally blows me away that I actually am getting some closure in my life. This doesn’t mean I am cured by no means and I still have plenty of work left to do but it feels great to be me today.
I am also currently working on a small project for this blog. I am trying to get others involved by writing their stories so we can share our stories with you. I would hope then when I do get some more authors on this blog, you will sow them the same compassion you have shown me over the past year. Can you believe this blog is over a year old? I encourage you to leave comments to new authors as you have done to me. I hope that by getting our voices heard, we can change peoples lives even if its one person at a time.
I love you all, until next time. Good morning, good afternoon and good-night!
Tim Barber
(Timbits)
P.S- Please talk to a homeless person today and spend fifteen minutes, let them share their story with you, you might be surprised by what they have to say. What have you got to lose?
WANTED: Encouraging Comments
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