Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Walk with me!

It has been some time now since I have posted a new blog and I would like to apologize for that. There is a part of me that actually feels like I have hardly any followers these days and it actually depresses me. This is something that I think I need to work harder at. That is, I need to start giving you what you want and I do believe it is to post more blogs more often. I would also like tom give you, my reader, the opportunity to tell me what it is you would like to know.

What I would like to know is, what do you want me to write about. Would you like to hear about a certain shelter, more about my life, where to go for resources and basically anything you think I might be able to tell you about. If it is something I cannot answer, I will be honest and tell you I cant answer. However, I would still like to get your comments and ideas on how I can make this a better blog. That it what I would like and I hope that you would like the same.

As for how I have been doing this past few weeks,well, I have had my ups and downs. For the most part I am doing pretty damn good. At least I am staying clean and sober. This I would say is the most important thing. Actually this is not entirely true and I cannot lie to you, my reader. There was a couple of weekends where I drank a six pack of beer. The only reason I am telling you this is because if I lie to you, It will not be the better person I am trying to become. Besides, honesty is a part of being that better person I strive to be. In one way it scares me to tell you I drank because I am afraid that you will think that I am losing my way. I am not losing my way by any means and I am still devoted to getting my life turned around and to getting my children back in my life in the near future.

Enough about that, if you want to write a comment about this, please, I would be happy to see any comments that you, my reader, have to say to me. So please, start writing comments.

Also, about 10 days ago I was assaulted by three teens between the ages of 17-20 and they actually beat me up pretty good. I am doing better now and I am more upset that they made me miss three days of walking with the homeless. The actual assault was a random attack and it may seem strange but I now feel safer feeding the homeless then I do walking in my own area since the assault. It is too bad that I didn't get a good look at my attackers but I am thankful for the witnesses that prevented any further beating upon me. To my witnesses, I thank you. I will not go into any further details about this as it is done and I am now healing. Enough said.

I got a chance tonight to go out and walk with the homeless and I am so glad I did because it really did bring my spirits back up and I am so glad to be a part of Kim's team. All of her volunteers do such a wonderful job and it makes me proud to be a part of the team.

Last night we had a chance to go to Alpha House and meet some incredible people. Alpha House has such compassion for these people and I love the staff members there so very much and cant say enough about the job they are doing for the community. To always see them smiling and trying to help those that have been drinking or using is such a treat for me to see the compassion they give to all. It is with great pleasure that we give to Alpha House and look forward to going there on Tuesday nights.

Last night there was a concert going on, Rhianna was at the Saddedome and there was tons of fans walking by us to get to the concert and probably wondering what it was we were doing. I actually started saying that the concert was canceled and they would actually be seeing Justin Beiber instead. This got more of laugh out of our wonderful volunteers then it did for the actual fans going to see Rhianna. Don't get me wrong, but I was just trying to be sociable. Besides I actually like Rhianna, not so much the Bieber. Lol...

All I can say is, it was nice to be back feeding the homeless and to see there smiling faces. I even had a woman come up and hug me and thank me for what we do. This thank you really should be going to Kim for starting her wonderful little walk, and as I said, I am so glad to be a part of it. Thank you Kim.

In other news, they are now down to 8 people at the Booth Center.. This place will be missed by many that have stayed here and felt more comfortable here then at other shelters. It was a safe place and I personally hate to see it go and hope that people find safe housing to go to.

Also, for those who have been following my battle with trying to get my children back in my life... Good News... I am only about a month or two away from a visit with them.. I must tell you that I am very nervous about the whole thing and I am trying hard to not think so much about it as it drives me crazy constantly thinking about them. I will keep you updated as my progress unfolds. I can tell you this much, the court date is now set for June 29th and I should no within a couple of days after that when my first visit will be. So please, pray for me and my children on a happy reunion. My lawyer says that I will be getting a visit lined up at the Woman's Center in Red Deer shortly after the court date. My fingers are crossed...xxx-xxx

There is not really much more that I have to say to you, but I do hope that you will use this time now to write comments and let me know what it is you would like to know about. Like I said, if I cant answer it, I will tell you.
Be safe, and please, as Kim would say Pay It Forward....

Side note: Congratulations Boston Bruins on winning the Stanley Cup.
: Shame on you who vandalized the city of Vancouver!
: We should all be proud of the terrific season they Had.. Way to Go
Vancouver Canucks.. You make me proud!
Thank You
Happy days and Happy nights
Your writer,
Tim Barber

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Enjoying Life As It Is

Here I am, sitting in my place on the May long weekend enjoying some quite time to myself. I am so thankful to no longer be homeless. Yet, I am still reminded of how quickly things could turn if I do not watch my life's direction. What I mean to say is, like a lot of Calgarians, I am but just one paycheck away from the streets. Or, just one slip away from the shelter system once again.

Whenever I help Kim with Walking With The Homeless, I am reminded of the many people I knew who are still struggling to make it into their very own place. I can tell you that this is not an easy task.

I personally spent just over 4 years on our very streets. I am very aware of how easy it was to get caught up in the system. Basically, once you are into the shelter system, you become used to getting all your meals and other little things for free. Do you realize that there are so many places in which you can find a place to eat or get clothing or even toiletries such as free toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, soaps and shampoos...etc...

It made it easy for the person I used to be to continue with my ways. The truth is, I was an addict, actually I still am, I just know how to control my life today. This is something that took a lot of work and I actually have to work really hard to continue my clean ways. However, this was not easy in the beginning. In my opinion, there are a lot of homeless that have underlying issues that seem to get in the way of bettering their life. I know because I come from a background that may not of have been all that pleasant. It was the fact that I started to deal with these past issues, that I was able to gain some self confidence as well as some self esteem to get me to where I am today. There are still a lot of things in my life that I would like to improve on and I will continue to work as hard as I can just to get more happiness in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am happy, but not completely.

When I was in my using ways, living in the shelter system was an easy way for me to go out and make money whether it was under the table or working for a temp company; I could go out and spend all my money on drugs and alcohol and then go back to the shelter and still have a place to stay and a meal provided. This could happen almost every day and no one in the shelter system really cared because as long as you stayed there , they received their money. So the shelter basically got richer along with the drug dealers and liquor stores. In other words, the government stands to make the most, and I sure that if they could tax illegal drugs, they would make that much more. This is just my opinion.

During my stay in the Calgary shelter system, I learned quickly where to go to get certain needs and wants met. Now that I am living in my own place, I am learning to find new resources in order to get these needs met. It all comes down to how bad I want to remain in my own place, and trust me when I tell you that this means more to me then being on the street once again. I now want to look forward to a future of being able to do as I please and making sure that the choices I make in life are good choices. I used to make choices in life that were not very good and I stayed longer then I really should have in the homeless world. I am very determined not to make them same mistaken choices.

Now , as I sit here in my place, I start to feel more confident in myself. I am gaining great progress in my life and hopefully very soon I will be able to see my children. This is something that has been a long time coming. Things are really starting to shape up in my life and I cant wait to be a father once again. Wait! I am a father, I just haven't been able to do father things for over 5 years. I really think I am going to enjoy being in my children s lives. I myself am just a big kid at heart.

As for what is going on recently, well I have now finished my program at CTI which allowed me to get certification for several tickets including Forklift and First Aid. Watch out ladies, Timbits knows CPR, ,,lol...That is a joke. I am now presently trying to find work ,and I really don't want to jump at the first job I see, I want to make good choices. For example, I could go up north and work but that would be stupid on my part, especially knowing that there are a lot of people that drink and use drugs up north, not all but there are a few. So, for me I would like to find something in town so I can stay around my support network.

There is not much else I want to say today except that life is good and I want you, my reader to keep up with the great comments and support. I really appreciate the love and kindness you have shown me and hope you will continue to show such kindness, not just to me but o others that are suffering more then I

Thank You All.
Without you, I would be lost!



Tim Barber