Saturday, April 24, 2010

Relapse

I thought I would update you on my circumstances. I really screwed up last Friday night, I ended up going out and having a few beer and then wound up using crack once again after actually having 3 and half months of clean time. I can tell you first hand that addiction is very powerful and it got a hold of me and I wound up falling. I now need to pick myself up and try and learn from my mistakes. I really thought that I was doing well and that I was becoming cured, and boy was I wrong. Addiction has been a part of my life for about 25 years now and I have to remember that if I don’t stop everything completely, I will never have what I would call a normal life. Then again, what really is a normal life? I just want to be able to have all the good things. I guess the biggest thing I am missing in my life is my children. I think that if I continue to use drugs or alcohol, then I will never have them back in my life. I think that a part of me was saying that I could eventually go out and have a few beers without thinking about using crack cocaine. I found out that I can not use any kind of mood altering drug, whether it be alcohol or even weed for that matter. Anything I use chemically will end up with me using crack and this is not the direction I want my life going. I want to continue to write for this blog and continue my pursuit of finishing my autobiography. I hope that I will not have another relapse any time in the near future, and I hope to learn from my mistakes and look forward in life. I thank all those that read my blog and hope you will continue to read articles from one of our 4 authors. I look forward to writing more in the near future.
Talk with you soon.
Tim Barber,
Homeless but not without HOPE

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

VIGNETTE1

As a person who has experienced different degrees of 'homelessness' in several countries the question of money and other material and nonmaterial resources
has been a chronic pre-occupation and source of continuing grief for me; or, rather it is really the problem of consistently securing such resources that plagues me.

Since returning to Canada more than 7 months ago my primary issue has been the maintenance of my basic needs which include such 'things' as shelter, food, security, health care, 'peace of mind' and different kinds of social support, which range from friendship, to solidarity with others and on to spiritual needs.

The majority of my time during these past 7 months, thus, began and remains with a serious pre-occupation with securing a flow of money that serves my basic needs; that is, nothing less and nothing more.

For the first six months since returning to Canada, I was gratefully supported by government monies, which covered my rental and my incidental expenses while living at the shelter facility.

Quite recently, moreover, I was very fortunate to acquire a new place to live whose housing quality is so drastically different from my earlier months when I was living in the shelter facility. My new apartment is very comfortable for me and allows for a greater level of independence in my lifestyle and everyday decisions.

Commonly, the kind of basic or subsistence level support I was receiving while living in the Shelter facility usually continues even if the client moves to a new place of residence; provided all other conditions remain normal or properly addressed under the terms of the individual client assistance framework.

Once the relevant housing authority accepted my application for housing, the government funder was then formally notified, in advance, by the new apartment manager in the form of a 'rent request’ in my name, which stated the start-date of my tenancy. The rental costs, in question, were remarkably lower than those of my first home at the Shelter facility.

As it turned out, the government department mysteriously ignored the 'advance rental request' sent to them from the new apartment manager and continued to send my rental monies, 3rd party method, to my original residence at the Shelter. Remember, too, that I no longer lived at the Shelter and so sending 'full rental assistance' to that former location was redundant and unnecessary.

Meanwhile, through the necessity of signing my residential lease, I was required to make rental payment for my new apartment out of my own very meager ‘pocket’ /pool of funds. So, despite having almost no money or resources for meeting other basic needs, I paid for my first month of rent, leaving me essentially with no cash to apply to other basic needs, including food expenses.

Of course, in my mind, fixing such a matter seemed to be a relatively straightforward one with which to deal. I could not have been more misguided in failing to appreciate the journey required to retrieve this rental money. To date, I have still not recovered the portion of monies I paid for my new apartment; a serious situation that I can ill afford to ignore.

It is rather unusual to note that the management of my new apartment understands and acknowledges the 'bind' in which I find myself, but the shelter facility service staff find it difficult to understand nor seem able to empathize with my situation and plight.

The Shelter facility is the place that received my full rental monies, in error, and is the site whose staff refuse to problematize my need to recover these monies. It is these very same workers who now seem to be 'mystifying' the fate of these rental monies. One shelter staff member, acting as the 'accountant', consistently assured me that the original government rental assistance cheque had indeed been returned to the government department by 'return post'. Yet, over the course of a longer 30 day period, no formal trace could be made of this returned cheque within the government tracking and information system, at either the regional or local office locations.

Quite recently, the provincial government department in charge of administering and distributing this assistance money has, in fact, identified some of the facts related to the fate of my rental assistance that was sent to the Shelter, as a third-party disbursement.

It appears that the particular rental cheque, in question, was cashed by the Shelter facility’s regional accounting centre on a particular date in early March, 2010. It is also reasonably clear, from available details and exchanges with staff, that the Shelter seemed to deduct nothing from this cheque based on an assumption and acceptance of the fact that I had no debts outstanding with the Centre.

I would like to make clear that I don’t believe that the shelter facility is actually malevolent and calculating in their dealings with clients, but clearly something is wrong with the overall management structure and operation when this kind of a basic and systematically unjust practice remains undetected and ‘unvoiced’ by relevant staff.

As of the date of this writing, this writer struggles to retrieve these assistance monies from the Shelter, which are resources belonging to the provincial government and to himself, as a former client. Several more senior staff members at the Shelter, who have knowledge of this matter, have conceded that a shelter facility accepting and withholding ‘assistance monies’ in this manner for over one month are acting in a fraudulent manner, and the organization itself and certain members of its staff could be subject to serious legal action.

The writer, himself, will continue to pursue this search for and retrieval of these rental assistance monies properly belonging to the provincial government and to himself. As a person whose status until very recently was ‘homeless’, the ‘silence’ and blatant lack of action to return these monies by the Shelter, as a humanitarian organization, is both disgraceful and amoral in scope and practice.

Written by Viscount



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Monday, April 12, 2010

Working

Its blog time once again! Sorry I have not been blogging much lately and that will now change.
I started a new job just a couple of weeks ago and I am working the night shift, I actually start work at 7 PM and finish anywhere from 3-6 in the morning. So, needless to say I have been getting used to this new schedule in my life. I really enjoy my new job and I am happy to say that life is progressing in a manner in which I hope to no longer be homeless any more. In my opinion, writing on this blog has brought out a part of me that is genuine and honest and actually I am impressed with the difference I am seeing in my own life because of it. It is hard to explain, but I feel as though this blog has in a way saved my life! I now have a purpose and a passion, and I hope that I can continue to write things that are worthy of a good blog. I know you probably think I am rambling on, but before for this blog I really felt like I was a nobody and that has all changed since then. Anyway, I hope that in some way I can help in any way I can to enlighten all my followers and many more in the days to come, and I do look forward to seeing all the comments on all of our blogs as it gives me strength to hear what each and every one of you has to say, regardless if I like what you have to say or not. Besides, isn’t that what a blog is all about? I am personally still learning.

Talk with you soon,
Tim Barber
Homeless but not without HOPE!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Homeless in Calgary Part 8: Smokers

"Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette..."
"I smoke 'em because ... I Can't Quit" (instead of "I like 'Em")

In a lifetime, a smoker spends enough money to buy a house. (Even with the excessively high prices of homes and rent in Calgary, the increased taxes on tobacco products make that still true.)

Smokers used to be considerate of non-smokers, but that is rarely true today. They defiantly smoke in the presence of non-smokers, even though medical experts have proven in research that second-hand cigarette smoke is just as harmful to the health of non-smokers as smoking is to smokers. Does Health Canada have any legislation or regulations to protect non-smokers? No. Instead, they just explain how smokers should be more considerate of non-smokers. Which not only is not enforcable, but will only happen when something freezes over (such as all tobacco plants around the world).

Non-smokers have to walk through polluted clouds of smoke, as smokers stand beside doorways, or right in the middle of the pathway. And when smokers finish their outdoor break, they inhale a last cloud of smoke into their lungs, and bring it back inside the building, to pollute everyone's air. Or they smoke on C-train platforms, and bring the fumes into the train cars. Or their clothes reek of tobacco tar from their heavy smoking.

Smokers still smoke in the washrooms of shelters, as they are apparently too lazy to walk outside and back. Not only does this leave second-hand smoke in the air-conditionning to harm non-smokers, it is a flagrant violation of a city bylaw and is also a violation of fire regulations. A newspaper article claimed that a major condo fire that left 300 persons homeless was probably caused by a careless smoker. Surprisingly, the condominium owners or managers were reluctant to sue the smoker to recover the damages caused to both them and the other tenants. Why aren't there laws making smokers financially accountable for the consequences of their sloppy habit, inside buildings, and outside where they cause numerous grass and forest fires each year.

Why doesn't Security help enforce the posted "5 metres from building" city bylaw signs at the entrance to and on the outside walls of the shelter? Because they are also smokers.

Non-smokers are subjected to tobacco fumes as they walk along sidewalks in front of buildings in the city. Why don't bylaw officers give them fines and tickets, both for smoking and for littering? Is it because bylaw enforcers also smoke?

Smokers believe that the world is their ashtray. Proof of this is seen around us, with large numbers of butts left on patios, sidewalks, entryways, grass in public parks, at intersections, and at C-train stations. Once again, these thoughtless and lawless people have no respect for anything other than their disgusting, selfish habit.

In the Drop-In Centre (DI) lunchroom, many persons tear apart butts that they picked up from the ground or outdoor containers, so that they can manufacture cigarettes to smoke from the remaining grains of tobacco. Not only is this practice more hazardous to their health, but a major unhygienic risk to other diners. And rolly papers or cigarette tubes cost money.

Cigarette smokers should face the facts. Their habit does not give them higher social status or wealth, as the only persons getting very wealthy are the owners of tobacco companies and those in the sales and distribution chain. A former work colleague of mine confessed that he really only enjoyed two of the cigarettes that he smoked during the day; the first one in the morning and the last one at night.

One would think that the picture of someone smoking a cigarette (on TV) through an esophageal opening in their neck would shock people into realizing how hazardous smoking is to their health. But apparently that has not stopped the thousands who can be seen smoking on the streets.

Only recently, perhaps as a direct result of the recession, have companies realized how much smoke breaks taken frequently by employees robs them of productivity.

When will the shelters realize that the frequent trips outside and inside the building by smokers compromise the security of the building for the other tenants? Trespassers and thieves can enter the building by tailgating the smokers, or by using social engineering to lead security or staff to believe that they belong.

And does the DI realize how many financial donors that they lost by including the "smoking balconies" in their new building? And that the double-door airlock between the balcony and the lunch room does little to prevent cigarette smoke from entering the room?

Perhaps homeless smokers should be required to live inside industrial chimneys.


Written by Anonymous45

Friday, April 2, 2010

Homeless in Calgary Part 7: Appearance

Part of the stigma that the public has towards homeless people is the appearance of many of the persons that they see --- the stereotype of unshaven, long messy hair, with poorly-kept clothing, and backpacks or shopping carts.

I was a bell-ringer for the Salvation Army during one Christmas season. I was dressed in a business suit.

I had decided to apply some suggestions that I had read for salesmen, even though I generally am not a salesman. I kept standing, rather than sitting, so that I was on the same level as the people walking by. When I established eye contact, I wished the person "Merry Christmas". While many continued to walk by without responding, some answered.

Someone asked me how long I had been working for the Salvation Army. I replied, "I just started," which was partly true. I realized then that for most of the public, their only contact with the Salvation Army is with the bell-ringers that they meet.

The owner of the store where the computer student, who lived in my building, worked, did a double-take when he walked by and saw and recognized me, beside the kettle. He was surprised to see me there. (One day, when the student arrived to work in the store late, I started bawling him out, using some old lines I had heard. When the owner looked at me as he heard me, he noticed that I not only sounded like a boss, I looked like one, too.)

When a supervisor walked by to see how I was doing, he was impressed by the way that I interacted with the people and received donations. He tried to assign me another shift, but unfortunately the person who was scheduled to do it arrived.

Another homeless person, who had opted for pay instead of a volunteer position, sat low in his chair, and moved the kettle back and forth lazily with one foot.

I was later invited to a volunteer appreciation dinner, and I met one of my school teachers there, who was retired.

I realize that it can be a major challenge for many homeless persons to be clean, well-groomed, attractively-clothed, well-mannered, and cheerful when they meet people in the street. However, improving their appearance will go a long way in dispelling the stereotype image that many of the public has about homeless persons.

Written by Anonymous45