Enjoying Life As It Is

Here I am, sitting in my place on the May long weekend enjoying some quite time to myself. I am so thankful to no longer be homeless. Yet, I am still reminded of how quickly things could turn if I do not watch my life's direction. What I mean to say is, like a lot of Calgarians, I am but just one paycheck away from the streets. Or, just one slip away from the shelter system once again.

Whenever I help Kim with Walking With The Homeless, I am reminded of the many people I knew who are still struggling to make it into their very own place. I can tell you that this is not an easy task.

I personally spent just over 4 years on our very streets. I am very aware of how easy it was to get caught up in the system. Basically, once you are into the shelter system, you become used to getting all your meals and other little things for free. Do you realize that there are so many places in which you can find a place to eat or get clothing or even toiletries such as free toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, soaps and shampoos...etc...

It made it easy for the person I used to be to continue with my ways. The truth is, I was an addict, actually I still am, I just know how to control my life today. This is something that took a lot of work and I actually have to work really hard to continue my clean ways. However, this was not easy in the beginning. In my opinion, there are a lot of homeless that have underlying issues that seem to get in the way of bettering their life. I know because I come from a background that may not of have been all that pleasant. It was the fact that I started to deal with these past issues, that I was able to gain some self confidence as well as some self esteem to get me to where I am today. There are still a lot of things in my life that I would like to improve on and I will continue to work as hard as I can just to get more happiness in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am happy, but not completely.

When I was in my using ways, living in the shelter system was an easy way for me to go out and make money whether it was under the table or working for a temp company; I could go out and spend all my money on drugs and alcohol and then go back to the shelter and still have a place to stay and a meal provided. This could happen almost every day and no one in the shelter system really cared because as long as you stayed there , they received their money. So the shelter basically got richer along with the drug dealers and liquor stores. In other words, the government stands to make the most, and I sure that if they could tax illegal drugs, they would make that much more. This is just my opinion.

During my stay in the Calgary shelter system, I learned quickly where to go to get certain needs and wants met. Now that I am living in my own place, I am learning to find new resources in order to get these needs met. It all comes down to how bad I want to remain in my own place, and trust me when I tell you that this means more to me then being on the street once again. I now want to look forward to a future of being able to do as I please and making sure that the choices I make in life are good choices. I used to make choices in life that were not very good and I stayed longer then I really should have in the homeless world. I am very determined not to make them same mistaken choices.

Now , as I sit here in my place, I start to feel more confident in myself. I am gaining great progress in my life and hopefully very soon I will be able to see my children. This is something that has been a long time coming. Things are really starting to shape up in my life and I cant wait to be a father once again. Wait! I am a father, I just haven't been able to do father things for over 5 years. I really think I am going to enjoy being in my children s lives. I myself am just a big kid at heart.

As for what is going on recently, well I have now finished my program at CTI which allowed me to get certification for several tickets including Forklift and First Aid. Watch out ladies, Timbits knows CPR, ,,lol...That is a joke. I am now presently trying to find work ,and I really don't want to jump at the first job I see, I want to make good choices. For example, I could go up north and work but that would be stupid on my part, especially knowing that there are a lot of people that drink and use drugs up north, not all but there are a few. So, for me I would like to find something in town so I can stay around my support network.

There is not much else I want to say today except that life is good and I want you, my reader to keep up with the great comments and support. I really appreciate the love and kindness you have shown me and hope you will continue to show such kindness, not just to me but o others that are suffering more then I

Thank You All.
Without you, I would be lost!



Tim Barber