Since my last blog I have calmed down some. I wont tell you that i used because I haven't. Actually i am very pissed off at myself and hope to continue to consider my whole life in a different perspective. I want to try and become a functioning member of this society. Isn't that what people want . Its definitely what i want. I am not a perfect person and i don't think i could ever accomplish a feat that high. I can barely make it a day without thinking about drugs or alcohol. I know i am not perfect but i want to be the better version of what i have been. Actually, i just want to be able to enjoy some part of my life. i enjoy writing for example.
I want to find companionship. Its been a long time since i have been in a serious relationship. being homeless doesn't seem to help much. Its actually interesting to see how many homeless men and women have a companion. its not like I'm really looking, whats more important to me is getting my children back in my life. I always have to remember that. Problem with that is that i can barely take care of myself, but I'm working on it.
Today i am trying to focus my attention more towards doing things that will be productive for my life and help me get stronger. That's why i write to you today. I am feeling much better and i hope to continue to be less cranky when it comes to blogging. Thank you for letting me share my life with you.
I will end by telling you that i found a different job and its indoors. I hope to write you soon and let you know how things are going. Sometimes i get scared about what the future will bring and i really outta start worrying more about my here and now. WHAT!! Me worry!
That's all i have to say. I hope that you will forgive me for my last blog but it is a big part of my life. I enjoy writing these blogs and hope you will continue to follow.
All the best
Stay warm
Tim Barber
Homeless
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
HI Tim,
ReplyDeleteJust got back to your blog today, been a death in the family so I've been tied up.
I hear your words. I want to tell you this Tim, so you don't think you're so different from other people.
My mother in law used to say..the difference between me and a homeless person is ONE PAYCHEQUE..and she was right about that. Many people live the same way..paycheque to paycheque.
None of us are perfect Tim..I don't know one person that is..You show me a perfect person, I'll show you someone who is deeply troubled and hiding their faults from the world.
How I wish I had the perfect life..but that is an elusive dream.
It helps not to bundle all your problems into one compartment, and look at the whole picture. This overwhelms you and makes you think distressing thoughts..even hopeless thoughts.
In actuality..one problem is not necessarily related to the other. There are plenty of lonely people in the world, who can't find a companion..and they aren't homeless, but they are longing for someone. There are plenty of people who are jobless, not necessarily homeless, but worried about being homeless if things don't improve.
I think you get the idea I'm trying to put across. Tackle one problem at a time.When you are satisfied with your progress, tackle something else..Eventually, if you stop worrying so much, things will start to fall into place.
You deserve to be happy..keep that in your thoughts.
Your friend, Carol
Hi Tim,
ReplyDeleteI would agree with Carol in that we need to deal with one issue at a time. And sometimes, everything else falls into place. I believe, your first obstacle will be to deal with the addiction. This is huge and controlling. This may be impossible to beat without help with alternatives, counselling, a mentor. Don't beat yourself up. You are a good person, with good intentions. This is really hard. Wishing you the best...because you are worth it! D